


Thier Living Will

by Crazythatcounts



Category: Night at the Museum (2006 2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:22:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2877962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazythatcounts/pseuds/Crazythatcounts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each entry is exactly 100 words, no more, no less. Contained in this work are (at least) 100 different themes, giving Jedediah and Octavius a chance to explore things from their first meetings to their last breaths.  </p><p>Not in chronological order, contains mild sexual content and some language, including Latin. Alexia does not belong to me. No spoilers for Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

"Cat." Jed repeated, pointing to a crudely drawn image of a stick-cat. Octavius stared, mouthing the word to himself several times before speaking aloud. 

"Cat." Octavius repeated. "Felis est... cat."

“Yeah, yeah. Felis. Cat. Good.” Jed sighed and rubbed his temples. “Good job, partner. Now, let’s move on.” He stood and went over to his horse, patting his flank. “This is a horse.”

“Equus.” 

“Horse.”

They spent the next few nights learning simple words, then moving onto phrases. Jed found his patience running thin quite often. Having known the Roman only a night, he was already starting to hate Latin.


	2. Middles

We couldn’t figure it out. He wanted ta meet in his chambers ev’ry night ‘n I wanted ta fuck him senseless in my tent. A man’s gotta right ta want ta take a man he loves in his own room! But at tha same time, he’s gotta right ta his own room, too. Took us a bit o’ arguin’ ta figure it out. Couldn’t do every-other night. Didn’t get the hankerin’ every night. So we figured we’d go where’s the closest when it hits us. 

If it happens ta fall on tha middle line…. We ain’t quite got there yet.


	3. Ends

Jedediah, 

Tonight is our last night in the museum. Our last night alive, really. You don’t know this. I had to pry it from Teddy myself. I haven’t told you because I don’t want you to know. I don’t want to see you without that wonderful smile. I don’t want to see you upset. 

I am writing this, however, in the scarce chance you wake up again. It’s a slim chance, but I want you to know how much I love you. I shall miss being with you every moment I can. 

I guess this is the end. 

Love,  
Octavius


	4. Inside

I followed ‘um down the hallway, led by an urgent hand, through doors ‘n arches and stuff. Inside, inside, each door I went through led me more inside that dern Roman structure. I passed some steps ‘n more doors ‘n we kept goin’ up ‘n up. When we were along, he stripped me quick, already half-dressed himself. He was ‘gainst tha wall, groanin’ my name to tha heavens, ‘n I found a new sorta inside. Inside him. Deep, deep inside him, warm ‘n wet ‘n thick ‘n all sorts a stimulatin’ and I couldn’t take it. I liked bein’ inside.


	5. Outsides

It was dangerous. We figured as much when we started. Was every true adventure not filled with risks and dangers? It was simple deciphering whether the risks were worth taking. We were going outside to see the beautiful night from the stairs. It was five-twenty-six in the morning, twenty-four minutes until the coming sun. Jedediah sat on the stairs, smiling at me. 

“Ya think we can wait ta see tha sun come up a’little ‘fore runnin’ back inside?” He turned to me. I frowned and linked my arm with his, face stern. 

“No.” I said. 

Some risks aren’t worth taking.


	6. Hours

It was hours before Jed returned. When he did, riding on his painted horse, he automatically jumped to Octavius’s rescue. Horse chomping at the bit, stomping at the offending cowboys, cowboys shouting and running and fleeing, pistols firing from several guns at once, whooping and hollering, it was like a real Wild West showdown. Once the battle was done, Jed hopped from his horse and ran to Octavius’s side. He held the Roman close. 

“Don’t ya worry anymore, partner. I gotcha. I ain’t lettin’ them sonofa bitches hurt ya ever again.” Jed murmured. “I won’t let anything happen to ya.”


	7. Days

Jed pressed his hands up against the glass and groaned. Larry was taking a few days off to spend with his son, and the museum was taking the same few days off so that the water heater could be repaired. This meant the miniatures being locked up continuously. 

“Dammit, Gigantor, come back soon.” Jed said, banging on the glass. 

“He should return in due time.” A voice caught Jed’s attention and he turned, grinning. Octavius’s men had managed to break through to the train tunnel. Jed skipped over and threw his arms around his lover, kissing him.

“He can wait.”


	8. Weeks

I waited for weeks to speak to him again. I had no idea why he did not come to apologize. I thought, as a blonde haired barbarian whom spoke so rudely to a Roman General, he had the obligation to speak to me, first. I went to go speak, after learning a little English. I was met by a guard. 

“Volo autem dicere ad Jedediah." I spoke. He squinted at me. “Apologize... Wrong foot… Friends?” I stuck out my hand, the strange language tying up my tongue. 

Someone else took my hand. Jedediah. “I’ll accept that. Howdy, partner.” 

“Howdy… friend.”


	9. Months

Salvete,

It has been exactly one month and three hours since I made the acquaintance of one Jedediah Smith. He is a very bawdy individual who rarely conforms to any sort of etiquette and has no care for his own personal being. He speaks a foreign language in an accent that only kills the beauty of words more. I am to start lessons on this “English” next Monday. 

I feel a need to learn more about this man. He seems very open, yet he keeps so to himself. I shall try to break him from his shell. 

Until morn,  
Octavius


	10. Years

Jed woke to the sunset happy as a jay-bird. He was over in the Rome display faster than a rabbit on a hot tin roof. Octavius was moving slower, like a normal day. He didn’t know this wasn’t a normal day. Without warning, Jedediah took Octavius’s face in his hands and kissed the other man so passionately and so openly a penny whore would feel shamed by the display. When they parted, Octavius had a look asking what this was all about. 

“You know what day it is?”

“No.”

“Well, fifty-four years ago today I met you. Happy anniversary, partner.”


	11. Red

“You really like the color red, huh?” Jedediah asked on day, casting elevator eyes upon Octavius. The Roman nodded a little, thinking. 

“I didn’t pick the color myself, but it makes sense. For a warrior, I mean.” The Roman lifted his cape as he spoke, staring at the dark color. Suddenly, a pair of arms were around his neck. Jedediah quickly finished typing his red scarf around Octavius’s neck, grinning. Octavius, expectantly, turned a delicate shade of red. Noticing this, he turned redder. There was a pause, in which Octavius just glared at Jedediah. 

“I love you too, partner.”


	12. Orange

The sun loomed down on us through the TV screen. I had my head in Jedediah’s lap as we watched the movie. Larry had gotten us a documentary on the sun and the solar system to slate Jed’s need to see the giant orange flaming mass of hydrogen. 

“It don’t look like that, do it?” Jed pointed to a close-up of the sun. 

“From the distance they mentioned, Jedediah, it might. Not from here, though.” 

“How big’s the distance?” Jed ran his fingers through my hair. 

“Point blank range, metaphorically speaking.” I murmured. 

“I swannee I thought it was yeller.”


	13. Yellow

Jedediah glared at the ceiling. Octavius was on the sand in front of him, head resting in Jed’s lap. They were staring at the same thing. The fake, white lights that reminded them how fake they were. 

“Ya know, I wanna see tha sun.” Jed muttered.

“It’ll kill you, my love.” Octavius pointed out.

“I don’t even know what it looks like.” 

“It’s probably very yellow. Being made of fire.”

“I know that. I jus’ wanna see it. Feels weird not ever seein’ the sun.” Jed sighed. 

“Is such a notion worth losing everything?” Octavius was serious. 

“Nah, gues’ s’not.”


	14. Green

First thing we did all day was learn ta climb trees. Up there, hiding out in tha green curtain o’ life, I felt kinda sneaky. Without warnin’, I snuck up behind Octavius ‘n wrapped my arms ‘round his waist, holdin’ him tight. He let out a yelp. 

“Jedediah, you are certainly quiet up here.” He laughed. 

“I’mma ninja. Green Ninja.” I kissed him. 

Later on, I was just a-sittin’ on a branch, mindin’ my own business, when Octy snuck up on me ‘n put his hands on my shoulders. I jumped, fallin’ clear outta that tree. 

“Damn you, Green Ninja.”


	15. Blue

He was blue. It was so cold, so very, very cold. I wrapped my cape around him, rubbing his arms, legs, face. Working warmth back into his body. I hated being without hearts – I couldn’t check for heartbeat to make sure the body I was so hurriedly warming was still alive. I bent over him, praying to Jupiter, praying to anyone, praying that he was alive. 

He suddenly inhales, and I only realized I was holding my breath when I inhaled with him. I felt tears in my eyes, freezing on my cheeks. He was alive. We were alive together.


	16. Purple

“Damn, partner, yer eye’s got real purple since tha’ tussle.” Jedediah, though a little roughed up himself, was checking Octavius’s eye from underneath a steak. Octavius forced away a slight wince. 

“Your cowboy friend has a very nice right hook.” The Roman muttered, pressing the cold meat to his eye. “I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t.”

“S’not yer fault he’s well trained.” Jed said, sitting by Octavius, grinning broadly. 

“Trained? What do you… you don’t actually fight them by yourself, do you?” Octavius asked, eyebrow raised.

“They gotta learn how to tussle with the big boys somewhere.”


	17. Brown

We squatted in a garden, covered in dirt and mud and all sorts of yuck and brown. We were planting flowers for the coming of spring and the renewing of life. Jedediah was beside me, covered in mud to the elbows. He looked at me with a hyena like grin. Without warning, he tackled me into the mud, laughing. I laughed with him as we wrestled for control, getting entirely covered. 

When we returned from the gardens, we got some very odd looks. We were entirely brown and smiling like no other. I would say it was a productive day.


	18. Black

I opened my eyes and looked up ta see him starin’ at me ‘n cryin’. He was black as all hell ‘n smiling, though he had a tear or two cuttin’ streaks cross his face. Ya see, I’d just accidently run our car down tha stairs and inta a wall. Smashed my side in. But I weren’t in that car no more, I was in his arms. Black ‘n sooty ‘n in his arms. ‘N he was smilin’ ta all hell ‘n kissin’ my cheek ‘n calling me ‘n idiot ‘n sayin’ he loved me. 

‘n I’ve never felt safer.


	19. White

His new togas were white. They looked like… like someone had taken tha white color offa painted pony ‘n wove it inta a garment. He had no shoes when he approached me, ‘n he looked a little red in tha face, moreso cause his toga was so white. I put my arms on his shoulders, kissin’ him lightly. 

“I like that toga.” I told him. 

“I was afraid you would not. It is not my normal… colors.” He smiled at me. I laughed. 

“You should know better ‘n to worry ‘bout whatcha wear. You know I like it best off.”


	20. Colorless

I woke up, panting, in a cold sweat. I was having dreams about those men – those strange, colorless men with guns bigger than Jedediah’s twin pistols and sneers like the devil himself – those men and what they did to Jedediah. How they trapped him in that hourglass and kept him there and nearly killed him in doing such. I felt him beside me and sighed, running my hand through my hair. Colorless men are nothing to have nightmares about when the man whom they hurt is alive and well beside you. I lay down, snuggling close. We both smiled, together.


	21. Friends

The tussle was fairly even, really. Octavius was two to one, and he was still kicking ass. But for every punch he served, he got one in its place. With a bleeding lip, a black eye, and a dented piece of armor, he looked in bad sorts. The two cowboys, both with broken noses and covered in bruises, didn’t look much better. And, though the roman had held his own so far, he was tiring. 

“Hold on there, Octavius!” Jed’s voice echoed over the plains. “There ain't no brawlin' 'til Ol' Jedediah's in town!” 

“Glad to have you, my friend.”


	22. Enemies

"Boys, I do believe you have messed with the wrong cowboy." Octavius had confronted Jedediah's aggressors in a civil manner. "Apologize and you may be spared. Resist... and may Pluto have mercy on your souls."

"Git yer skirts outta yer ass, Mary, and skedaddle." The largest cowboy clapped Octavius on the arm. Octavius scowled. 

"I see you have chosen resistance. Very well, then." Octavius then punched the cowboy hard in the nose. Clutching his bleeding proboscis, the cowboy toppled. The other two jumped to his aid. 

"Now, prepare to face the fury of the Roman Empire. Mars be behind me."


	23. Lovers

Fingers twined together in a loving embrace. Bodies, hot together, sweating, rubbing, creating sweet, unbearable friction. Free hands wandered, caressed, rubbed, grabbed, and teased. Skin became red from pinches, from teeth, from kisses that may not have been the most gentle. Moans echoed over the rather vacant sands of the West and the empty streets of Rome, harmonizing as a single song of love. Two sets of lips pressed together as two people, two very tiny men, moved together in a unison that sparked with heat of a thousand tiny suns. Two sets of eyes met and two lovers smiled.


	24. Family

We had a little family, Octy ‘n I. We had each other, ‘n we had Alexia. Seems like it’s fair enough, don’t it? Well, we got more then that. We got our people, who care fer us and accept us, no matter what they think are faults. My boys, fer example, don’t give a flying fig ifin I love Octavius ‘slong as I’m still their Jed. Which I am. ‘N we got the museum too! Tha whole place was just waiting fer us to catch on ta it. Bastards. Ya gotta love um. 

Cause they’re family ‘n that’s what matters.


	25. Strangers

It was a strange feeling, being alive for the first time. Jedediah was still getting used to moving, straining his muscles to see what he could do. He trotted briskly to the edge of the diorama and looked over, down. The night-guard was late to lock up. 

“Bonus vesper! Is est bonus video vidi visum alius familiaris visio in illa secui.” Jed looked up and followed the sound to find there was another tiny person – Roman - staring at him from the diorama next door. 

“Partner, I can’t understand a word you say!” Jed shouted back. The Roman looked peeved.

“Barbarus."


End file.
